Love is one of the most beautiful blessings God has bestowed upon man, in which he feels the deepest pleasure and experiences the greatest happiness. However, many people regard love merely as emotional closeness or liking. Yet according to the Qur'an, true love is built upon a person's faith, conscience and sincere devotion to God. Therefore, in order to understand the source of true love, it is necessary to correctly comprehend the spiritual foundation that nourishes it.
For a person to be able to love in the true sense, he must first make his soul open to love. The capacity to love of someone who cannot develop a healthy respect for himself, mature his conscience with the morality of the Qur'an and shape his character in a manner that will be pleasing to God cannot fully develop either. True love is a natural consequence of the depth that fear of God, sincere faith and good morality bring about in the human soul.
Attaining true love is possible only when a person can appreciate God with His true measure. For this, he must comprehend God's infinite might, knowledge, wisdom, mercy and absolute sovereignty. While a believer who comprehends God's absolute greatness loves his Lord with a profound love, he also feels deep respect, awe and fear toward Him. That is because fear of God is a spiritual power that protects, deepens and matures love.
As a person's love for God deepens, his capacity to love also develops. He sees every beauty God has created as a manifestation of Him and loves it by seeking His approval. Thus, love is purified of self-interest, calculations of gain and selfish expectations, and becomes a permanent character trait. Superior moral qualities such as loyalty, faithfulness, compassion, patience, forgiveness and self-sacrifice also emerge as the blessings of this love.
For this reason, fear of God and love of God are not separate from one another, but are two fundamental spiritual values that complement one another. While fear of God makes love conscious, sincere and lasting, love of God draws a person closer to his Lord and directs him to live by a morality in conformity with His approval.
Fear of God and the Birth of True Love
At first glance, some people may think that fear and love cannot coexist. However, the fear of God revealed in the Qur'an does not resemble the ordinary fear people feel toward one another. This fear is awe arising from a profound comprehension of the greatness, knowledge, justice and mercy of Almighty God, Who possesses infinite power and encompasses all things at every moment. Such awe does not distance a person from God; on the contrary, it draws him even closer to Him. That is because a believer who knows God's incomparable names and attributes loves his Lord with ever greater love, admiration and affection with each passing day, and scrupulously avoids losing His love and engaging in any behavior with which He would not be pleased.
Almighty God reveals thus in the Qur'an:
You who believe! If you fear God, He will give you a criterion (by which to judge between right and wrong) and erase your bad actions from you and forgive you. God's favor is indeed immense. (Surat al-Anfal, 29)
In this verse, God reveals that He will grant His servants who fear and are mindful of Him ‘furqan,’ meaning an understanding and insight with which they can distinguish right from wrong. This is also one of the fundamental conditions of true love. That is because the love of a person who cannot distinguish right from wrong, cannot evaluate events with wisdom and acts under the direction of his lower self does not rest on a sound foundation. By contrast, the insight acquired through fear of God enables a person to build his love both for his Lord and for those He has created upon wisdom, justice and sincerity.
The Protective Shield of Love
For a person to say, “I love you.” does not by itself indicate the existence of true love. What truly matters is the foundations upon which this love is built and how it is protected over time.
Behaviors such as lying, betraying someone, failing to keep one's word or abandoning in a short time someone whom one claims to love show that love does not rest on a spiritual foundation. That is because love that is not supported by sound faith and moral awareness can easily weaken when circumstances change.
This is also one of the important reasons why many relationships today end in a short time. People often love one another not for God's approval, but because of the happiness, comfort or benefit they provide them. When these expectations disappear, love is replaced by disappointment, anger and estrangement.
Yet the situation is entirely different for a believer who fears God. He knows that the patience, loyalty, compassion and self-sacrifice he shows to the person he loves will not go unrewarded in the Sight of God. For this reason, he does not alter his love according to circumstances; he strives to maintain his good morality in sickness and in health, in abundance and in hardship. That is because his true aim is not merely to please the person he loves, but to earn God's approval under all circumstances.
Fear of God is therefore one of the strongest spiritual supports that protects love from the influence of temporary emotions and changing circumstances. Since such love is built not upon self-interest, but upon loyalty, sincerity and devotion to God, it acquires a lasting and reassuring quality.
Loyalty and Faithfulness Arising from Fear of God
One of the most important signs of true love is loyalty. A person who does not turn his back on the one he loves in difficult times, but instead supports him even more, demonstrates the sincerity of his love. Someone who fears God knows that every good behavior he shows toward the person he loves will be recompensed in the Sight of God. For this reason, his love is not limited only to good times. He maintains his love and devotion even when circumstances become difficult, means diminish or the person he loves undergoes a severe trial. That is because his criterion is not people's changing states, but God's commands.
A person who loves for God's approval regards the person he loves as a valuable servant created by God and a responsibility entrusted to him. While this outlook increases his compassion, patience and self-sacrifice, it also makes his love deeper and more lasting.
When love is built upon fear of God and God's approval, it is strengthened by loyalty and faithfulness; it is not shaken by changes in time, circumstances or interests. By contrast, love built solely upon the desires of the lower self, emotional expectations or temporary interests is doomed to weaken and fall apart at even the slightest disturbance.
Trust Built with Fear of God
Trust is an indispensable condition for love to be lasting. Where there is no trust, love is gradually damaged by doubt, anxiety and uneasiness. For this reason, trust is one of the cornerstones of a sound relationship.
At this point, fear of God plays a decisive role. That is because true trust arises not through external coercion, but from the conscience. What keeps the conscience alive is not the supervision of people, but the absolute faith that God sees and hears at every moment, knows every thought that passes through a person's mind and is nearer to His servants than their jugular vein.
A person who lives with this awareness does not depart from truthfulness even in places where no one sees him. He avoids lying, does not betray a trust, takes care to fulfill his promises and refrains from injustice. That is because what determines his behavior is not people's appreciation or criticism, but his desire to earn God's pleasure.
For this reason, true trust is a natural consequence of the good morality shaped by fear of God. Love built upon such trust will also be sounder, more peaceful and more lasting.
Fear of God Makes a Person Compassionate and Patient
Patience, mercy and compassion are among the most important values that bind people together and make love lasting. It must not be forgotten that love is strengthened not only by beautiful feelings, but also by the good morality displayed in difficult times.
A person who has no fear of God may succumb to his anger in the face of a minor disagreement. This anger may lead to hurtful words, magnifying the faults of the other person or defending himself even when he is in the wrong. That is because the lower self often directs a person to assert that he is right.
However, a believer who fears God displays a different attitude in the face of the same situation. He considers that something he says may hurt the other person's heart. He knows the value in the Sight of God of forgiving, being patient and behaving well. For this reason, he controls his anger and seeks not the desires of his own lower self, but God's approval.
In the Qur'an, our Lord reveals the hardening of hearts as follows:
Then your hearts became hardened after that, so they were like rocks or even harder still... (Surat al-Baqara, 74)
A hardened heart cannot properly display good moral qualities such as compassion, mercy, forgiveness and self-sacrifice. Fear of God, however, softens a person's heart, strengthens his conscience and makes him a more understanding person.
A person who acts out of fear of God does not want the person he loves to be saddened; he avoids breaking his heart, hurting or embarrassing him. True compassion emerges when love is united with mercy and understanding. This compassion, patience and good morality also lie at the foundation of lasting and profound love.
Love of God Develops the Capacity to Love
It is important to reflect deeply on people's lack of love. That is because today many people experience unhappiness not only because they are not loved, but also because they are unable to love in the true sense. Many people state that they are seeking love, yet they cannot establish the spiritual foundation that enables true love to emerge.
True love is not merely liking a person's outward appearance or admiring the temporary qualities he possesses. True love means being able to see the beauty of the soul created by God, good morality, conscience and the spiritual values manifested in a person. This outlook elevates love from superficial liking and turns it into a deep and meaningful bond. That is because such love is directed not toward temporary qualities, but toward the lasting beauties created by God.
For this reason, love for God gives a person the power to love in the true sense. A person regards the other individual not merely in terms of his qualities in the life of this world, but as a servant valued by God and a part of the journey of eternal life. With this awareness, he shapes his love by seeking God's approval.
Such love does not weaken with changes in time and circumstances; on the contrary, it deepens further as it is nourished by faith, loyalty and good morality. That is because love that derives its source not from temporary expectations, but from love of God, rests on a lasting and powerful foundation.
Conclusion: The Spiritual Foundation of True Love
Today, people seek love, trust and faithfulness, yet they often overlook the true source of these values. The Qur'an, however, reveals that love of God and fear of God lie at the foundation of true love. That is because fear of God directs a person toward good morality; it strengthens loyalty, mercy, justice, patience and trustworthiness.
A believer who loves God with a profound love and appreciates His greatness as is His due avoids losing his Lord's approval. This awareness enables a person to fulfill his responsibilities both toward God and toward the people around him in the finest manner. For this reason, lasting and true love becomes possible only through an understanding that places God's good pleasure at its center.
Our Lord reveals:
You who believed! Have fear of Allah the way He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims. (Surah Ali `Imran, 102)
A life dominated by love of God and fear of God is one in which trust, faithfulness, mercy and self-sacrifice are naturally experienced. This understanding of love that emerges through living by the morality of the Qur'an beautifies not only individual relationships, but the whole of society. Thus, the foundation of peace, brotherhood and lasting love rests upon a sound spiritual basis.
